Hand Held Bidet

This is a subject that many Americans still shy away from, which is crazy as its something every single living human being has to do every day, if they're healthy. That's use the bathroom, or to be more specific, as we're going to have to be pretty specific here, use the toilet. Yep, its the "T" word that everybody hates to use, but there, I just used it!

But I'm not actually focusing on that particular item of bathroom furniture here in this article, well at least not until you've finished using it in any case. You see, the point to all of this is that we all go through an absolute ton of toilet paper every week and really, there's no need for it!

Really!

Ever heard of a bidet? It's another item of bathroom furniture that those clever Europeans have been keeping a secret from us for centuries. And you know what? It's a whole load cleaner and more hygienic than the way we do it, while we're wasting all that toilet paper each time we use the toilet! So sit back with a nice sandwich and a cup of coffee and let me tell you all about the portable version known as the hand held bidet!

What is a Hand Held Bidet?

If you're wondering just what in the blue blazes is a hand held bidet, I'm going to explain it to you. First, I'll tell you where we're going wrong and then you might be more disposed to read what I have to say.

What's Wrong with Toilet Paper?

Plenty. The first problem is that when we use it to clean up after using the toilet, it's a dry wipe. So there's actually no way to completely remove all traces of feces, urine and any other unmentionable that I haven't already blatantly mentioned. Don't matter how much toilet paper you use, you don't clean up 100% and that means you're walking around all day with whatever you didn't clean off stuck to your butt! Nice...

Are you still with me? Good.

What a Bidet Does

A bidet is like a mini shower, with a jet of water that aims upwards right at your butt, which you conveniently place in its path in order to clean the aforementioned unmentionables from that part of your anatomy. You can add soap after the initial spray gets the unmentionables off to really spruce up the old butt! I'm laughing my own butt off here just writing this, so bear with me...

The whole idea is that you end up with a completely clean posterior that you can walk around with all day feeling fresh as a daisy. So that's what a regular bidet does. Now for the subject of this article. The hand held bidet.

How Does a Hand Held Bidet Work?

A hand held bidet is just like the regular bidet except its completely portable so you don't need to have a bidet plumbed into your own bathroom. It works quite simply by first filling it up with water -- and it helps if you do this first, before you sit down to your daily ablutions -- then once you're done, you just hold it beneath you, take aim and squirt! Be sure not to miss now, although I can see that your own butt is a hefty enough target which from that distance you can't miss! Hahaha!

There is another type of hand held bidet that is not portable, but connects to the plumbing of your bathroom and can attach to your toilet of be very close to it so that you can easily reach the place you need to reach. It looks like a small shower head on a flexible hose and does an excellent job of cleaning up and making everything nice and hygienic once again!

Okay, serious face now.

Once you're all nice and clean, you simply use a designated towel to wipe dry. If you want, you can keep a towel separate for this purpose then drop it in the wash afterward. But it really is a pretty clean towel, seeing as you just wiped dry probably the cleanest part of your body at the time you did it!

So it brings us nicely back to the fact that you can actually save yourself an absolute fortune on toilet paper by dropping your squeamishness and embracing one of the cleanest ways to keep your butt nice and fresh!